I had a client give me a piece of advice that I will never forget. We were discussing therapy and she said "You should have a therapist for your mental health, a personal trainer for your physical health, a financial advisor for your financial health, and if you have someone spiritual even better." This speaks volumes. She was absolutely right! I think sometimes we think of our lives in parts as if we are not 1 being existing in this one life. Part of what I do as a life coach is help people get in alignment. This alignment encompasses all areas of life including our jobs, relationships, physical and mental wellbeing, as well as how we feel creatively and spiritually.
I find that many people including myself can get hyper-focused in one area of our life sometimes as a means of avoiding other areas. A common example that comes to mind is using work or children as an excuse to not work on your relationship or your health. This is why we step into observation. We have to step back and look at our lives in ALL areas, identifying what is going well and what needs attention.
It's important to step out of "I'll be happy when...." when I lose weight, get the promotion, make X amount of money, get married, have kids, move cities, etc. Realistically these things can add to our quality of life, but they won't make us happy. Happiness is a state of being. BEING! This is something we have to learn to experience in our day to day lives and not hold out for only when we obtain something or escape to the beach.
That doesn't mean that it's not important to set goals and strive for the things we want in life. It's important to have these goals yet simultaneously be grateful for where we are, what we have, and how far we've come. Living in alignment means aligning each area of our life with our values and living into them. It takes practice and work, but the payout is invaluable. Imagine how it would feel to be in a good place mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, and in your relationships. For me 2 feelings come to mind. EMPOWERED & AT PEACE..
We see these imbalances all the time although we might not recognize them right away. I'll see people in the gym with gorgeous beach bodies that are absolutely dedicated to their physical health, but have very low self-esteem, low sense of self-worth and are struggling mentally. I'll also see that big girl at the club with her hair done, make-up on point, killer heals, and big hoop earrings with a man (or two) on her arm and she is happy! She knows she has value and she knows she is hot.... but.... she's severely overweight, pre-diabetic or diabetic and avoids stairs at all costs because it hurts her body and her lungs and probably her morale to try to climb them.
Neither of these examples is living aligned. Neither of them are "healthy." How about a person who is taking care of their body - exercising and eating well - and taking care of there mental health by seeing a counselor or therapist and is feeling good financially? Perhaps this person is working in a "soul sucking" job that doesn't align with their values or doesn't give them any sense of fulfillment. How healthy is your life if you dread going to work every single day?
Maybe that person actually loves their job - has their dream job, but is lonely or is in a rocky relationship. Alignment, Balance, and/or Harmony is possible! It is absolutely attainable, but we are often sitting to close to see the whole picture. It might be easy to identify the imbalances in other people lives and seem impossible to identify the ones in our own. Take a step back and check in. Check in to where you're happy and appreciate it. Check in to what needs work - acknowledge it - accept that it's okay to not be perfect - and just let it be. You don't have to immediately start cutting strings or forcing changes, but just acknowledging what aspects of your life you're happy about and which ones you are not is the first step towards finding that mind, body, and soul balance.
We have to identify problems before we can solve them just like we need to know where we are going to learn how to get there. We might screw it up and take a wrong turn or get detoured or delayed, but if we know where we are going - if we have a direction or a destination we can take the wheel and make necessary adjustments to see it into fruition.